Life’s a mess. Life’s about making the right decisions. Making priority’s and stuff like that just makes growing up suck. After becoming 18 things have changed so much. You become so much more responsible for you actions “suddenly”. And you really need to know what’s good for you. I’ve been way too busy to blog lately, mostly because of having 2 jobs and working for 20 hours straight for at least once a week. But that’s no excuse at all, I love this little space of mine and my love for fashion and beauty will never fade. That’s why I’ll just make time for it.

Thanks for reading – more candy is coming

Love.

I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you
All the loneliness I would go through
But if you wanna leave I won’t stop you

I still remember that day.
How I got to met you, the one with the most sweetest eyes.
Day by day, I got to know you more.
And it was like the world got more wonderful.
You’re the one whom I can talk hours with, the one I could tell anything to.

I know I didn’t do much, but it was all I could do.
Just because I know the harder I try, the harder I would hurt myself.
The bigger my hope, the bigger my disappointment.
Because eventually, after everything we do, you would go back to her.

And if two people are really deep in love with each other.
I believe that we could easily overcome this and be together at the end.

Anyway the thing is,
I’m scared in putting hope in something and end up having nothing.

All I’m hoping for now is: all the best for you.
I love you and I’m glad I’ve met you.
But I just can’t be with you like this anymore.

♥

Maaf, kamu punya pacar.

My work has been featured here:
http://www.styletoday.nl/beauty/tips-en-trends/13169/5x-este-lauder-beautylook
&
http://www.styletoday.nl/beauty/tips-en-trends/13427/este-lauder-winactie-de-winnaars

P.S. – Sorry for the sucky quality, my single reflex camera is still being fixed. I probably get a new one… so for now only mobile pictures. Sorry!

This post is going to be very positive because my f-ing test-week is ovaaa. YAY
Most of the marks where positive so I feel kinda happy.

Besides that, it’s like my life is slowly moving back on track. Since I broke up with my boyfriend I met loads of new people and I’m really enjoying it. Even though I dislike the fact that we’re not talking anymore because I did try my best to act the same. Now it just an awkward situation every time we see each other.
Sucks, but I can’t do anything about it.

And here more things:

• Harry Potter 7.1: Today I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1) with Yuna and it was awesome. The local cinema here has never been this full. XD
• Chilling out – Late night: Fffff *u* We should have done this earlier haha. I had such a great night yesterday with Thyrza and Nibor.
• I’ll be going to M.I.A.’s concert on 26 nov: with Thyrza, Robin, Janne and more. Gonna be funnn.
• Nicki Minaj’s deluxe album got leaked: And it’s soooo freakin’ awesome. I wanna buy her new album. You can download her iTunes rip here.

In other news, there is a little crisis I’m now in.
My school will be having a gala soon on 10 December and people have been asking me frequently to go. But I actually don’t know if I should go. People are trying to convince me to go; saying that this is our last school year together. And it’s actually true haha.

And honestly, there is a guy I would love to spent that night with. But I don’t think he would want to come with me. Actually, I haven’t asked it him clearly enough. I suck.

This person is to me not just an everyday boy and the funny thing is that we share the same birthday. I’ve never known a person in real life with the same birthday, with the same interests and habits. There is just something about him.

• Do you know someone in real life that shares the same birthday as you and you can go really well with?
• Have you seen Harry Potter 7.1 yet?
• Have you ever been at a gala?
  

Translation:
Dear participants,

Thanks for the entries for the Estee Lauder makeup contest! You have been selected by the jury and came through the first round. Now we need your complete contact details so that the jury can choose out some winners.

Can you send it as soon as possible to redactie@styletoday.nl?
Thanks!

Sincerely,
Malou Engelage
Styletoday.nl

So today I got this in my lovely mailbox and it really made my day! Since two months ago I’ve been trying to live up to this common Dutch phrase “Niet geschoten is altijd mis” meaning “Nothing ventured, nothing gained“. I’ve been trying to take any opportunity I get and I really like it. I’ve been always too lazy for online contests saying that I’ll never win and shit BUT: You never know if you don’t try!

So if there is any new opportunity that’s going to cross your road in the future, try taking it! And even though it’s not turning into what you expected it to be – at least you gained new experience!

This was my entry for the contests, I hope you guys like it!

So I just figured out that I bought 4 pairs of shoes last month haha:
- Primark brown brogues
- ASOS leather flat boots
- Nike Air Court (tennis)
- Mini UGGs.

The mini UGGs was €150 which is kinda expensive because I paid it myself. But they are DAMN warm. I remember the winter of last year when my feet were just icicles.
And about the Nike Air Court shoes, I started in playing tennis again. I also got myself a new racket and a pink sport-top of Nike for it.

Sorry for no photos, my friend accidentally broke my camera and it needs to be fixed. And I hope it will be fixed soon after my test-week.

So now not about shopping, my test week is starting today and that means that I won’t be able to go on the computer since I’ll have to study all day. =/ Always scared in failing.

Anyway, there are so many things that are coming up in my mind that I would really like to do. These are things like:
- Opening a blog that’s only about fashion
- Vlogging on YouTube

About that Vlogging, my webcam isn’t that awesome so I might buy a new one:

Btw, I’m also working on opening a webhost. Where people can host their website for a really really small price!
Here is a little preview of it (designed & coded by me):

The upcoming Friday I won’t be having school because my teachers will be having a “teacher day” were they will do activities together. But I don’t care about that, it’s that I don’t have school that counts. =D

The best part is that I managed to get a dayticket for Friday! (for an insanely low price) – Meaning that I can travel through the whole Netherlands by train the whole day.

BUT – I don’t know who wants to join me. And just when I want to ask that person, I’m not able to. =(

Anyway, I decided to feature some things I really want/like:

ASOS Tabbed Military Woven Mix Jumper: Reveal the military in ya self haha
ASOS Low Slung Mans Peg Leg Trouser: Love this complete look; It reminds me of Chloé’s ready-to-wear fall 2010 collection which I really adore.

UGG Classic Mini: These are just so cute for winter!

iPhone 4: After having my Nokia for almost a year prepaid I’ve been thinking to get an iPhone 4 subscription; I’ve been doubting between a BlackBerry and a iPhone because loads of my friends are using BlackBerry and if I could get myself a BlackBerry; we are able to Ping! each other. BUT I found out that iPhone has that app too!

15 September: I turned 17! Making me 1 year closer to maturity. Times really flies by. I got loads of messages from people who wished me a happy bday and I really had a great bday! I also got really cute presents – like this one, a huge Rilakkuma bear I got from my best friend. How cute!

25 September: Kinda started photographing again – still I don’t know how long I will maintain it.

30 September – 3 October: Worked at Netherlands’ biggest warehouse company for 4 days. Which was a really awesome experience because I got to know how it is to work at a retail company. Besides that I also got to know loads of nice people.

But I’m so going to miss it there because I was only a temporary worker. Thus I applied to work there at the department where they sell clothes for children. And I’ll be having my job interview on Monday morning and I really really hope I will get this job.

Further, I don’t really think I did anything special.
From everything I’ve written here I can really say that the best one was those 4 days at the warehouse for sure!

XOXO

Hellooooo I’m back from outer space once again. D:
So lemme tell you what I did when I didn’t blogged

• I studied for my test-week
• I was being lazy

And I apologize for the last one – school is just so tiring. (and boring -_-)
But – school’s out this summer! So I won’t neglect my blog anymore! Just pray for me that I don’t have to do grade retention. I will have loads of fun stuff to do and here is a little list:

• Going to Utrecht, Rotterdam, Den Haag, Scheveningen (beach) for shopping, beach and of course Starbucks.
• To Rock Herk festival in Belgium (? – Not sure yet); to see “Does It Offend You, Yeah”!
• To Hong Kong from 21 July till 23 August
  • I can see my family again, go shopping, seeing SCANDAL’s concert, live myself out at the Animation & Games exhibition and more!

So two weeks ago I applied for a job at Adidas Originals. And guess what? They invited me for a job interview this Saturday and please just pray for me that I’m going to get that job! I looooove Adidas.
They always surprise me with their new collection every season.

Well anyway, I’m going to take loads of pictures and update often. D: /spam
Here’s my outfit of today:

My favorite dress at the moment.

My new and favorite high heels (13cm) at the moment.

/awkward smile